OMG

Well…I may not be ready for full-fledged Libertarianism, but I truly don’t know if I can remain a registered Republican very much longer. Two nights ago I said to a Very green sounding McCain fundraiser: “Tell the Bosses that when the GOP stops sliding to the Left, gets back to Goldwater-Reagan values, and helps nominate a decent Conservative candidate, I’ll gladly give more money. And tell them to stop sending out these stupid pretend surveys that a tree monkey could complete just so they can ask for more money for their lame campaign.” She was silent for a moment, and then laughed and said “ok,” and hung up. I respected her for that; I really did.

I guess I was still grouchy from McCain’s interview with O’Reilly late last week. Big Mac says he refuses to consider drilling in ANWR, nor will he crack down on sanctuary cities…because he is a Teddy Roosevelt conservative. (?!) Um, try not to abuse TR’s legacy like that, “my friend.” TR was tough, wise, and knew the difference between good policy and pandering. He cared about conservation – but was wise with it. And he wanted measured, well-managed immigration. I very much doubt he would have approved of McCain’s tedious thirty-nine part illegal immigration “program.” I ask you: why must McNoodle appear on my television screen and conjure up the dead spirit of past conservatives as if it says something about HIM? Can he not entertain and convey these ideas on his own? Where is the principled and pure conservatism of the Now?

And please don’t feed me any lines about John’s commitment to appointing conservative judges. That’s a no-brainer, so no Brownie Points will be awarded. And anyway McCain has more demerits than he can hope to overcome. He has, after all, failed to complete assignments again and again. Like when, you ask? Well, let us count the ways. He pulled some pretty dirty campaign tricks on Bush in 2000 but now haughtily insists he will run a “respectful” campain against Obama. I guess he only plays nasty with members of his own party, but against the man who may well be the downfall of our nation he will be Oh So Nice. I mean, He’ll be Lovey Dovey.

To continue… McCain slandered the Swift Boat veterans against John Kerry without the basis of evidence, which I found just astounding. He also echoed the lies of the Left by deriding the Bush tax cuts as being only “for the rich.” He has flip-flopped on immigration policy numerous times. He favors constitutional rights for terrorists. He helped legitimize the filibustering of judicial nominees in the Senate. He championed bad campaign-finance reform. He has participated in the demonization of the big, bad oil and drug companies. He co-sponsored the McCain-Kennedy illegal immigrant Forgive, Forget and Let’s-all-have-a-Scotch bill. He also voted for Specter’s hare-brained Let’s-politely-ask-for-Mexico’s-permission-to-build-a-fence-on-our-own-freaking-border Bill. He has sold out on global warming and talks about Green living like he invented it. His pro-life credentials are questionable. (Shall I continue…?)

“So, what do you WANT?” a friend inquires nervously as I finish the rant. Great question, and SO glad you asked. I want a conservative candidate who is…a Conservative. I want a president who talks sincerely and intelligently about reducing government. I want a POTUS who genuinely wants government transparency at every level. I want a strict adherence to ethics and a swift cutting off the offending hand when violations occur. I want our $3.1 trillion dollar federal budget slashed. I want balanced budgets at all levels of government. I want major tax reform with lower taxes for all. I want an end to the welfare state and an end to taxpayer dollars being doled out to entitlements and special interests of all kinds. I want an end to subsidies. Let us all live and die in the free market, and let people give to the causes they believe are worthy because they choose to do so.

I do not want the government giving money to anyone who bought a home they can’t afford, or saving any mortgage company who loaned too much money to too many high risk borrowers. Let everyone learn their lesson, and lick their wounds, and proceed. No one will die because they have to give up their house and go rent for awhile, so let’s stop behaving as if this “crisis” is on the level of a personal tragedy. I want things to happen because the economy makes them necessary or because individuals and private organized groups gather up and make it so. I want an end to union dues being used for political purposes without member permission. I want an end to earmarks forever. In general, I want less Bureaucracy in the Universe.

I want a better, stronger, faster, meaner military, and I want to use it to frighten the world into behaving properly where American interests are concerned. I want everyone in this country to get real about the dark soullessness of Islamic fundamentalism and terrorism. I want a swift cooling of relationship with all nations who claim they are for peace but either whistle and look the other way or are in bed with these nuts on the sly. Including and starting with Saudi Arabia and Egypt. I want Israel to bomb anyone who breathes in their direction, and I want to throw a parade for them every time they do. I want the NRA to thrive, and I want to keep my guns and be free to buy more, and I want our kids to learn how to use them properly, and I want to be free to shoot intruders and trespassers or anyone who tries to harm me or my family.

I want the CIA to organize an infiltration of the organization of every sick, murderous despot in the world so they can summarily shoot he and all his drooling cronies in the head. (I realize this is where the Libertarians and I part ways. I also realize it separates me from many of my Christian friends. However, I am an unapologetic Interventionist when it is called for, and I believe it is called for whenever and wherever diabolically inclined dicators are responsible for grave human rights violations. I believe there is such a thing as right and wrong, and I believe we have a moral obligation to say so, and to do something about it. If someone summarily and systematically murders those who they are supposed to lead and care for, let them be shot, and let God judge their souls, and let their people go free.)

I want an end to the “drug war” which is costing us billions, filling up our prisons, and accomplishing little. Many companies have drug testing policies, and many other companies don’t care, so let’s just let everyone make their choices and let the market do what it does. If private organizations want to battle the sale and use of drugs, and help people who are addicted through education and counseling, let them do so, with our thanks. I want prison system reform including the establishment of work camps and compounds where all prisoners will pay their debt to society by laboring 40 to 50 hours per week (just like the rest of us!) both to maintain the prison and to produce something useful. I want these prison workplaces to be managed like a business: efficiently and for profit.

I want us to abolish or considerably reduce the scope and influence of the failed Department of Education. I want more charter schools and more encouragement and resources for home schoolers. I want education reform and better public education for fewer billions of dollars. I want more intelligent educational and career tracking for kids based on their skills, interests, and goals. I want to encourage more kids to go to vocational and/or trade and/or tech schools and for everyone to stop pretending that every kid needs a four to nine year college education for our country to be great. I want an end to affirmative action in academics. The smartest and best and most hard working ought to be accepted to our universities, no matter their gender, class, or race. Less talented students can attend community college and transfer in later if they are able, which they should be if they have any ability at all.

I want our courts to honor and uphold our Constitution. I do not want it revised. I want all judges to do their jobs, by the book. I want to stop the slow erosion of personal property rights. I do not want national, socialized health care. (I’ll take McCain’s tax credit for health care, but let’s remember that if our taxes weren’t so high in the first place we wouldn’t need a freaking credit in order to afford our doctor’s bills. Am I supposed to feel like McCain is “doing” something for me when really I’m just getting some of my own damn money back…?) I don’t want any cap-and-crap energy policy. I don’t want corporations trading or selling carbon emission credits like baseball cards. Can we please stop introducing abstract ideas into our economy as if they can actually serve as real currency and support the market? Good grief!

I want us to accept that there is nothing Hillary Clinton or anyone else can do about the OPEC oil cartel and their inflation of prices…except to drill for oil and refine here at home where and when we needed and even if it means running an ugly pipeline or two over the freaking tundra and ruining the scenic view of some Arctic terns.. I want us to get the per gallon gas prices back down at least in the $2.00s while we figure out what the next generation of cars is going to run on. (And it is NOT bio fuel. Even though plants are a quasi-“renewable resource,” the earth cannot sustain enough plants for both food and the world’s rising fuel demand. Hyrdogen fuel cells make a lot more sense, or how about that new proto-type car that is primarily motored by air pressure?)

I also want to tell the Middle East and half of Africa to feed their own damn starving citizens and neighbors since they are raking in trillions from oil sales. I want everyone here at home to stop treating nuclear power like it’s the Devil and get real about the tremendous benefits - when it’s managed correctly. It’s powerful; efficient; reliable; and opens up high tech jobs in the community. We can deal with the waste intelligently, by extracting and refining the Uranium (a huge boon to any state’s economy).

(sigh)

I am aware that I want what apparently cannot be had, at least not this year. And I know I will vote for McCain, as the best of the undesirables. But I will not be happy about it. And I will hope for something better next time. And I will probably have an “I” rather than an "R" on my voter card by 2012, if for no other reason than to let the GOP know how disgusted with them I really am.