Sacrificial Goats

I am both happy and humbled to see that National Review editor Rich Lowry also wrote about the Left’s (a) frothy-mouthed hatred of The Evil Speculators and (2) cognitive disconnect re: the concept of supply and demand this week (see my earlier comments here).

Happy because it is nice to imagine a serendipitous connection (along the lines of “great minds think alike”) and humbled because Mr. Lowry’s writing is so much better than mine. I was especially delighted with his ending: “If Congress wants a scapegoat for high oil prices, it should revert to the ancient practice and literally expel a goat from the U.S. Capitol. Atavistic, yes, but no less irrational.”

Once recovered from the awe and wonder educed by use of the word “atavistic” (which for all you non word geeks means reversion to some old or ancient practice)(and no, I am not ashamed to admit I had to look it up) I did a little research and was amused to find this excerpt on the proper methods of goat ousting from “Ritual Dynamic Structure” by author Roy Gaines:

EXPEL GOAT INTO WILDERNESS
1. Speak while leaning both hands on the head of a goat
1.1 Lean both hands on head of goat
1.2 Speak while keeping hands on head of goat
2. Expel goat into wilderness
3. Cleanse handler of goat
3.1 Launder clothes
3.2 Bathe in water

Gaines’ little outline deconstructs the portion of the book of Leviticus in which Aaron receives expicit instructions for cleansing the Israelites of all their sins. Apparently God was a stickler for details because His directions also included flow chart elements for the proper methods of collecting confessions and various post-event atonements.

Anyway, I like Mr. Lowry’s suggestion. I imagine the goat banishing ceremony would go something like this:

SENATOR DORGAN (solemnly placing both hands on the head of a confused goat while Reid and Pelosi look on): Lo, it has come to pass that the members of this Hallowed Hall have cast lots and that by the will of Heaven ye shall be the Scapegoat.

(goat trembles nervously)

Upon thy head we place the sins of this unholy congregation, which include but are not limited to, blaming speculators for high oil prices, ignoring market conditions, and boring the American public with our endless speechifying.

(goat stares at Senator Dorgan, puzzled)

Unhappy beast, ye shall now bear the burden of all our iniquities and transgressions.

(goat glances around for possibility of quick escape)

Therefore ye shall be sent into the Wilderness to be seen nevermore.

(goat relaxes, looks relieved)

We who are cleansed shall remain here, burn incense upon the Altar of the Most High, and have a Committee Meeting.

(goat nibbles on Dorgan's sleeve to see if it's any good)

Pass ye now through the Holy Tabernacle so the Lord may frown upon thy cursed head.

(goat walks through the Veil, stifles a yawn)

Now go into the Wilderness and be seen nevermore!

(goat happily ambles off)

Let us now wash our flesh with fresh water and retire to our Chambers where, afflicted, we shall do no work, no, neither for our country nor for any poor sap that sojourneth among us. And let this be an everlasting statute.

And so it was...