09 April 2008

Jungle Training Essentials

In this story about federal employees putting millions of dollars of fraudelent or frivolous charges on their government credit cards over a 15-month period, the least egregious (and possibly funniest) was the credit-card holder who bought $360 worth of women's lingerie at a boutique for use during “jungle training” by trainees of a drug enforcement program in Ecuador. A State Department official agreed that the charge was “questionable” and stated that he would not have approved the purchase had he known about it. This raises a few questions:

When glancing over the receipt or billing statement (which was presumably presented for approval at some point), what sort of items did that State Department official think had been purchased at “Sedducion Boutique”? The word “seduce” has few meanings especially when coupled with a noun meaning "small specialty store"…n’est pa?

I'm also curious about the questions that would/should have been asked (and answered) had this purchase been properly flagged. Would the purchaser have claimed that special undies were needed due to the hot, damp conditions in Ecuador? Were these garments of special construct, enabling the wearer to more swiftly and stealthily move through the flora and fauna of tropical landscapes? And can we assume, at least, that the fabric was camouflage...or perhaps leopard print?

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